What Have I Done...

Friends play such an important role in my life. Besides my family, they are the ones that I talk my heart out to; I share my burdens and happiness, my thoughts and feelings, the ones I love. Without these people in my life, things will definitely not be the same. That is why I strive to give the best of myself to them.

They are great people, but as humans, we all grow content to the things around us after a while. It is our human nature that after a period of time, we take for granted what we have and are given. When it became this way after a while, things got tough.

As I have said, I strive to give the best of myself to these people. I look into every area with the way I speak, my tone, my expression, the way I act, the way I react, because they are important to me. When these things that I do were not appreciated and was repaid with disrespect, I was angry.

When I humbled myself to serve you, you took advantage of it. When you know I would not retaliate, you pushed me around, you pushed my head. Times when I asked you a simple question, you would answer me with such a provoking tone and manner. When I was there to take all the tantrums, you can’t even ask me what was wrong when you knew something wasn’t right. When you needed me I was there, but when I needed you, you said you were busy. How is this fair?

It saddened me a lot, and at the same time I was also very angry. I was really affected about the whole situation. I had to just leave and think , whether is it worth the trouble, heartache and anger for these people. Whether friends like these are worth the keep.

Then as I sat thinking, with anger about these things they have done, it hit me, isn’t this what I do to God too? When I needed Him, I looked for Him and He was there, but when I don’t I totally forget about Him. When I needed something, I asked from Him, and He gave, but I forget the Giver. When He was patient with all my desires and sins, I was upset He did not answer my prayers. When He gave me all I have ever needed, but when troubles arise, I curse and do not want to talk to Him anymore.

What difference does that make me with my friends then? Nothing, we are all the same, it is our human nature. So what is there to lose if they disrespect me? What is there to lose if they take advantage of my kindness to them? The most is I lose some pride, but if I say I love them, will I want an eye for an eye? That is not love anymore. Some pride and some shame cannot be compared to the worth of what I have learned from this lesson of what I have done to my God.

Friday, July 24, 2009