This blog is nearly dead cause it's been a while since I had much time to think about things. Throughout this week though, I felt so driven to write about what I took notice when I was reading my Intercultural Communication text book for my quiz, which I have shared with some of you and decided now to put it down in words :)
As from the book itself, it is obvious that I read about cultures. However I need you to think with me deeper. Do not think about culture as a whole first, but break it down into easier and smaller scale. What is the definition of culture? It is a group of people that have the same beliefs, same values, same world view, etc.
So think about your individual lives now. Do you realize we do live in a number of culture? Like I said, do not think too far ahead, think about your daily lives. When you are at home, you live your home culture. When you are in school, you change to your school culture. When you meet up with your girlfriend or boyfriend, you switch to your dating culture. When you are in church, the church culture takes over and the list goes on and can be more detailed.
Do we realize we are so many different people at different places? Will we be alright if our parents see us at school and the way we are there? Will we be fine if a friend from church comes to our home and see how we are at home? Are we alright if our friends see you in a mall with the person you are dating? Will you mind? Is it alright? Will it be awkward? If God sees you in all your state, will you be alright with that? And have nothing to hide?
My answer is no, I won't be comfortable with it. The next question would be why not? And I think that the answer for that question we all need to ask ourselves time after time. There must be one culture or rather none that we are living it rightly, if there is one that we think we are living right in, ask yourself why isn't the way I am living in other times different from the right one?
Do we live the way we pray? Do we live the way the Bible ask us to? Do we live the way we worship in church on Sunday? Or is it just a Sunday thing? Are we right with the way we talk to our parents? Are we the way we are when we are in church and with our non christian friends? Do we live the way we declare we do? Are we the same when we are alone?
Do not get me wrong though that I say you should talk to your parents the way you talk to your friends, but if the way you talk to your friends are with full or respect and sensitivity, I don't think it will matter much if it was the same.
What I am trying to say here is, in the end there must be a certain ground that we stand in, a certain culture that we have to determine to live in, and live it for all. If you are just gonna live in differently in different places, what difference does it make you with someone who has multiple personality? Who are you in the end? What are your beliefs? What are your values?
I hope this post brings benefit to those who reads, cause it did to me.
Savior, please take my hand I work so hard, I live so fast This life begins, and then it ends And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last
I try to be so tough But I'm just not strong enough I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me I try to be good enough But I'm nothing without Your love Savior, please keep saving me
Savior, please help me stand I fall so hard, I fade so fast Will You begin right where I end And be the God of all I am because You're all I have
Friends play such an important role in my life. Besides my family, they are the ones that I talk my heart out to; I share my burdens and happiness, my thoughts and feelings, the ones I love. Without these people in my life, things will definitelynot be the same. That is why I strive to give the best of myself to them.
They are great people, but as humans, we all grow content to the things around us after a while. It is our human nature that after a period of time, we take for granted what we have and are given. When it became this way after a while, things got tough.
As I have said, I strive to give the best of myself to these people. I look into every area with the way I speak, my tone, my expression, the way I act, the way I react, because they are important to me. When these things that I do were not appreciated and was repaid with disrespect, I was angry.
When I humbled myself to serve you, you took advantage of it. When you know I would not retaliate, you pushed me around, you pushed my head. Times when I asked you a simple question, you would answer me with such a provoking tone and manner. When I was there to take all the tantrums, you can’t even ask me what was wrong when you knew something wasn’t right. When you needed me I was there, but when I needed you, you said you were busy. How is this fair?
It saddened me a lot, and at the same time I was also very angry. I was really affected about the whole situation. I had to just leave and think , whether is it worth the trouble, heartache and anger for these people. Whether friends like these are worth the keep.
Then as I sat thinking, with anger about these things they have done, it hit me, isn’t this what I do to God too? When I needed Him, I looked for Him and He was there, but when I don’t I totally forget about Him. When I needed something, I asked from Him, and He gave, but I forget the Giver. When He was patient with all my desires and sins, I was upset He did not answer my prayers. When He gave me all I have ever needed, but when troubles arise, I curse and do not want to talk to Him anymore.
What difference does that make me with my friends then? Nothing, we are all the same, it is our human nature. So what is there to lose if they disrespect me? What is there to lose if they take advantage of my kindness to them? The most is I lose some pride, but if I say I love them, will I want an eye for an eye? That is not love anymore. Some pride and some shame cannot be compared to the worth of what I have learned from this lesson of what I have done to my God.
It will be a lie if I say I do not enjoy college life. I think I am enjoying it to the fullest now. It's almost exactly how I imagined it to be. Not my studies but the friends that I am making are really nice people. I did not expect all this to happen so fast. I am pretty much on the fast lane already. Assignments, group work, presentation. All this things that I never thought someday I would say is becoming one my favourite words now. My mind was so occupied.
After waking up from my afternoon nap today. It just suddenly felt so hard to breathe, in the inside. Not physically. And it felt, so familiar. Last week there was a pretty bad haze. One night I decided to play basketball. After a few throws when adrenaline started pumping and I was breathing faster and harder, I felt like I couldn't breathe in enough air. It's like the air was too diluted for me to breath enough in. And that will make u breath in more and it gets harder with every try. Just like asthma, I think. If you know what I am talking about, then this was how I felt, just not physically. And I know just the reason why..
It's has been quite a while that I had always had lots of time for myself just thinking and doing things for myself and just having lots of quiet moments to ponder upon stuff. Suddenly, there's this whole chunk of activities and people just come my way. It's not a bad thing though, in fact, it is fun! It feels good. My mind is so occupied with friends and work. But this made me forget how it felt to be quiet. I nearly did not see it coming. Cause I was having a good time you know! I mean, when things are all going fine, will you just suddenly stop and think of the unhappy things? No! But you fail to remember that it was those unhappy times that brought you here. I nearly missed seeing that.
As I realized that, I felt so downcast. How I picture my walk with God is like climbing a really tall mountain. You just keep climbing and climbing. Though I have been climbing slow, I feel, but I have climbed for a while to be away from the bottom. And the moment I realized how things are changing in my heart, I felt like I was slipping off the edge. I just can't fall again, I am so tired. I felt like I have climbed this far and I am so tired, but I keep pressing. I can press on, but I can't afford to fall, not now. As I was browsing through the net, I came across this song that many of you know, "You Never Let Go" by David Crowder.
Wow, if only you knew how I sobbed in my heart that very moment knowing that the God of the Universe would step down into my life and tell me, 'I will never let'. There was also this picture in that music video that someone made showing a man, as if he was dying, hanging in the arms of Jesus. He never let go.
Now I truely understand why must Jesus be the center of our lives and not the first in our lives. In everything you do, yeah, Jesus can be the first. Whatever you do, you think about Him first, make decisions based on Jesus being first in your life. But the difference is, when Jesus is the center of your life. He is in it with you, not matter what. To the smallest thing that may be, like talking to a friend, He is in the middle of the conversation. He is the point, He is the reason for everything.
It is so easy sometimes to be comfortable with our surrounding. Especially when we do the same thing over and over again. Things get so easy, so normal, so under controlled, and boring. This includes our job, school, people we know(friends), our spiritual life and even going to church and church activities.
I would like to share what I feel and think about this issue which applies more to church and spiritually but also could be related to job and school. If someone were to complain about going to church, distance going and tiredness, I think I should be the one that has the most reasonable reason to do so. Every Firday, leaving my house here around 8 p.m latest, taking an hour ride in the bus, reaching midvalley or KL sentral, taking KTM to Tasik Selatan which either someone would gracefully fetch me or I will just take the cab to church. Whole process eating up about 2 hours in total of a super long of sitting in the bus, could be standing if the bus is full, but rarely, catching the KTM and waiting for at least 15 to 30 minutes and we all know how on time can KTM be. If lucky being able to force myself into the train at that time, and I usually do, like a sardin in a can, the ride will take 15 minutes or so to Tasik Selatan. All in all about 2 hours in total. OR Saturday, waking up at 5 in the morning to catch the 5.40 a.m bus so that I can make it by 7 a.m to Tasik Selatan for basketball, it will be another 1 hour ride to Midvalley KTM station at 6.40 a.m in the morning, hoping that the train will come on time so I can reach just nice by 7 at the Tasik Selatan station so that no one has to wait for me. But it never happens, for your info, I always reach later than 7. I am really thankful to all that so willingly offers to fetch me everytime. Anyways, this is my journey to church every single week. Don't I deserve to complain the most? Don't I have reasonable reasons to say, hey, I don't think I will come this weekend cause I am so tired? I am not saying all this to boast or to want praises, I do not want them, but to encourage.
If there wasn't a greater purpose, do you think I would wanna go through all this just to come to church on the weekends? Church service is only on Sunday morning anyways, why all the trouble right if I do not see the greater value of everytime behind this? If I were to say I got complacent of all this and eventually bored of it, I am sure it is kinda acceptable right? Well here is how I look at all this. I always picture God, or could it be He really is, like a Lover. Imagine with me a couple courting. The guy always tries to impress the girl, but he has to do it in a way that will not make her get bored by the 1st year or years to come as they date. So he has to hold back many things in order to keep the intensity there between them. If by the first month, he says, 'I love you oh how can I live without you', or, 'you are my sunshine that brights up my days', and buys her a car, a house. That is just the first month, imagine how will it be like after a year? Do you think a bunglo will still work to impress her? Hmm, I don't think so. This is how I imagine my relationship with God is, the only difference is God will never run out of things and wonders to impress me with about Himself. Bit by bit He keeps showing me and impressing me about Himself that is just so everwhelming at times that keeps me going and going. When I think I have known it all and felt it all, He just blows my mind with something greater about Himself. He doesn't give me all at once, so I won't be bored, or I would maybe die if I knew it all at once :P But yeah, this is what that really drives me to keep pushing through all the obstacles and circumstances and focus on what He has already done and search for what is yet to come.
HOWEVER, I will not deny that there will be times where you are just so bored and tired of doing it anymore. And God just doesn't seem to be there when you needed Him most. But then, what is faith if there isn't actions follow by it? I think at times like this faith comes the strongest. Knowing that God is still there though you feel so far from Him, and keep pressing on towards the goal. I think we as Christians should learn to be more selfless, which I am struggling to be myself. Sometimes, what does it really matter how we feel? What we think? I mean if Jesus Christ has died for us on the Cross so selflessly without even complaining anything, why are we complaining about every tiny thing? Why care so much that you are angry with this or with that? Who cares? Isn't our main purpose is to serve others and being a shining light for what Jesus has done for us? So yeah, when we are angry, when we are jealous about something, when we envy, why indulge in those thoughts? Move on, thinking about it will never change anything or make anymore feel better, even God is not please at all with all this, so forget about it and just move on. I know in the end we are all still humans and we still have this kinda feelings and I am not asking you to be a perfect person, but it is something to work towards to.
I think I am kinda running out of the topic, my main point here is, complacency shouldn't be something that we feel in our Christian life, our serving. Whenever you feel that, tell yourself to stay focus. God has something new for you every morning. Times when you really feel dry and that He hasn't been there, that is when your faith must play it's role to help you stand firm. Prayer meetings, homefellowships, youth meetingss, choir practices, worship practices, setting up stage, doing multimedia, doing sounds mixing, playing instruments, singing, worship leading, packing up, Sunday church services, lunch, all this can be so routined, so boring. Whenever you think this, remember just one thing, the purpose behind all this, that God may have all the glory. Do not think that being complacent in just packing up will make no difference. It does. You are packing up you Father in Heaven's dwelling place, and when you pack up, the next event could go on and the next event will glorify God. So even then packing up that we think it's just a simple job is actually another God glorifying job. In everything we do, do not be complacent cause we know that by us not being complacent and us just ignoring that complacent feeling will give God all the glory, and that is what should be the desires of our hearts as Christians.
I was thinking throughout the week how should I end this post and I finally decided to end it with a short illustration to show how easy it is that we can be complacent without even noticing it. Here is how it goes : A boy one day was having a hard time looking for a toilet and he was in a bad need to 'ahem', you know what. He searched all over and finally found a toilet, but the thing is that toilet is terribly dirty and smelly. His options were only two, that is to force himself to use the toilet and get it ovfer and done with, or doing his business in his pants. He chose using the toilet of course. He forced himself in there, and the first minute was awful, no kidding. He almost puked. The second minute wasn't as bad as the first but still bad. it kept getting better by the minute, and by the fifth minute he was already immune to the smell.
That is how fast we can get immune to complacency. Do not be that guy that says, just another minute here cause it feels good and I 'need it'. Cause by the time you realize it, you will be much deeper and far away from you have expected. Never compromise even one one week, one night, one hour or even one minute of feeling good with eternal joy that you will have when you are with Father..
This week wasn't really a good week for me, the early part. I was really affected with some stuff and was in a terrible attitude to the people around me and I truly apologise for my behavior. I am not a person that says sorry face to face to you, but if I have done wrong to any of you and you are reading this, here's my apology. The title 'Perfection Is A Sign Of Imperfection' came to me when I was actually discussing about this someone but this post isn't gonna be about that person.
A perfectionist is someone who does everything perfectly. Efficient, fast, no mistakes. However, I have been thinking, nothing is perfect, how then can there be a perfectionist? I do not really know what I am trying to say here so let me just go straight to the point.
I think if a 'perfectionist' expects perfection, that person is just being immature. In every sense, spiritually, work, speech, and everything else. Does it make sense if I say that to be a perfectionist is to realise that you are imperfect? To realise that things go imperfectly and everything else in this world.
What I think here is, to be a 'perfectionist' is to expect imperfection yet at the same time doing your best. However in the end, the word perfectionist defeats it's purpose by expecting imperfection. I think it goes in a circle. But whatever, it is just a thought. One things is just not A thought is, I don't believe in perfection except through Jesus Christ and Christ Himself.
Is God real? How do we know? How do we prove that He is real?
There was one part of my life where I was wondering whether are we creating all this religion thingi and grace and blessing things ourselves. Are we making all this up so we can feel secure of ourselves? To create this so we can at least feel some hope to continue the next day? What if everything around is was all meant to be but we just make it sound as if there was a God. What if the sun was naturally suppose to rise this morning but we say that God allowed the sun to rise making it sound like there is a God? What if we were suppose to get that bonus this month and whether there is a God or not, we will surely receive it but we say it's God's blessing and make it sound as if there was a God? Is it really like that? I got caught up with that thinking myself once upon a time. But then, I suddenly came back to my conscience, what then is around me?
If you had or have this thought or I made you think this, I want you to ask yourself this question, doesn't nature itself prove that God exist? Doesn't the nature around you shows you how glorious He is and how powerful He is? Well, I am sure there WAS someone who created it right? And if your answer is human who made the nature I think that is a bit silly. What about the sun? Yeah it may just be a natural thing that it rised this morning, but there must be someone that first created it in the beginning right?
Same goes to the earth? You say it came from the big bang? Well it may be, but how did the big bang came about? It must have come from something, I may agree if you say there is no one who initiated it and it may just be the nature that caused the big bang, but, the big bang needs something so a big bang can happen also right? So where did that one small particle came from? I may still believe a lot of things that is happening around us now may just be mere coincidence and just a natural phenomena but I can never agree if you say things and the earth and human just came to existent from thin air.
I know this post is nothing so theological about this post and about the existent of God, but if sufficient for my faith that there is God.. I hope and pray that in a way or another this post may help some.
